The 26th of Unsleepiness.

When I was six years old, I loved blizzards. Mainly because school was canceled. I use to sit at home, watch Lion King (probably for the 38th time) while eating only the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms box pretending they were bugs; re-in acting the scene when Timon offered Simba a caterpillar to eat and he goes “slimy, yet satisfying”. 

When I reached the age of eight, I started cursing. That shit felt so liberating. I mean, I knew it was wrong to do and I cringed every time I did it but after a while I was so fluent. I started listening to songs that actually had and have longevity till today.

Nine years old and I finally mastered how to ride a two-wheeler. And fuck this helmet; I haven’t felt this cool in an entire while and this thing protecting my brain makes me look stupid as shit…but mostly uncool. I really started cursing at nine. 

At 14 I fell in love. A “me, thinking of you, thinking of me, thinking of you” type of love. Life felt like Summer time everyday during those times. But nothing was warmer than my heart. The ice cream truck melody wasn’t annoying anymore. The radio played the best songs. Holding hands gave you goosebumps. 

At 14, I fell out of love. That shit must’ve hurt.

16, it was the year every girl in school was turning 16 and sweet sixteen invitations were roaming every hallway of your high school. It was so easy to make friends then. It was so easy to lose them too, especially when your MySpace top 8 represented where you stood as a friend. God I miss those senseless days. 

And then I was 18. I fell in love for real this time. I’m an adult. I know what’s right from wrong. Nothing can go wrong, I have the perfect mindset. 

A month into being 18 and my life is already in shambles. I’m fucking up in college. I’m fighting a lot in my relationship. A lot of questionable friendships. Life can’t get any harder than this. I need to do something to keep me occupied. Cannabis, perhaps? 

21 – I fell out of love. That shit must’ve hurt.

Ah, 23. I fell in love and I am so for real this time. And fuck, I needed to graduate soon. I’m like a super, super senior. Maybe switching majors three years ago was a dumb idea. If I stuck with what I was doing in the first place, I would have been out. Momma would have been proud. All this stress is fogging up my vision and the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer visible. Where is my drive?

I’m 25 years old, a quarter of a century. I fell out of love. That shit hurt. 

Today I’m 26. I fell in love again. With myself. I’m gonna get me into better shape. Financially, academically, mentally…everythingly. I love my friends. I love my family. They make my heart warm. They always did. I’m still wandering but I’m not that directionless. And at this very moment, that’s all that counts to me. I’m desperately waiting for my future –hopefully with good news, pure positivity and love. 

You ever just can’t sleep at night sometimes? So you stay up and think…about everything? Like literally everything. And you start planning your life? Making promises to yourself about how you’re gonna change for the better and as soon as you wake up tomorrow things are gonna be different. But then tomorrow you just wake up, tired as shit, with zero cares because you’re tired? And you’re tired all day. Then you make another promise to yourself that as soon as you get home, you’re gonna go to bed early. And eventually you do get home but Twitter and Instagram is just too fucking entertaining at the moment. One more hour on my phone won’t hurt, right? And eventually…its a 360? Hate that shit.

But it’s 2:33 in the morning and I can’t sleep. So I wrote all the shit I think about. Well, maybe not all. But a gist of things. But yo, writing is an experience. I seriously want to write about everything sometimes but, you know. Less is more and whatever. On that note: bless.

Create YOUR world.

Wow. I really didn’t think I’d be using this thing so soon. I surprise myself sometimes…most of the time, actually. But I decided I’d say some real shit and start my first official post with something positive and hopefully motivating for y’all.

Quick background, I’m a young professional in the engineering world in the city of New York. Not gonna get into the specifics of my responsibilities because I don’t do lullabies. But I was on a project site at NYU and I took some time to really take in how far I’ve came from college. Of course I’m still a baby in the industry but a mental pat on the back is healthy time-to-time. I was speaking with one of the contractors and I ended up asking her if she loved what she’s doing. Of course she didn’t say yes right away & if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t say yes instantly either.

It then made me think: college/school isn’t for everyone.

Now this may sound like a subject that’s been talked about over and over, and I know you hear me, but I don’t really think you hear me. College isn’t for everyone. To be honest, when I was young, in college, smoking a bag every three hours, I thought being here (in college) was the only right thing to do (not because of the greens). But it was only after I graduated I realized this isn’t the case. It has nothing to do with tuition and people not being able to afford it. It has more to do with doing shit you actually enjoy doing.

I know quite a few college dropouts & people that never even went to college come to blows with themselves because they didn’t live up to what was expected out of them. But if you keep living for others and not you, you’re not really living & this is when it gets messy (I’m trying so hard to not sound basic by saying ‘fuck society’). And I still wouldn’t say fuck society, it plays a role in a lot of what we do. But anyway, I say all of this to say, get into a field that actually makes you want to get up at the ass-crack of dawn and work.

Of course, it’s not that easy. Especially for you aspired artists. One of the biggest problems with some is that they have a hard time being realistic. If you wanna be a rapper, that’s great. But be honest with yourself, are you getting paid for your free mixtapes on soundcloud? No shade at all, my advice is to hustle with a side gig that actually provides an income. Artistry is something that has to be developed with time and if you’re as talented as you believe yourself to be, you’ll make it. If Young Thug made it, you probably can too.

Ultimately, create your own world. You know what you want, you know the lifestyle you’re trying to live/not live. Create it. Take the appropriate steps to be a better you. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, the guy that created Facebook…these scallywags are college dropouts. This isn’t even unique “advice”. But it’s 2016 and I wanna be that one other person to promote people to be them. Perfect your craft and seize your world. Bless.

Happy Birthday.

So…I didn’t know what to title my first post but this seemed appropriate. But you’ll learn I’m not always appropriate. In any case, I finally have an official “blog” (if you will). I’m still unsure what the real reason behind me making this was but today I was just like, fuck it, it’ll be a good outlet. Plus when I get famous this might be a good look. About four sentences in and I’m already talking shit, wow. This may or may not be a good first impression.

Anyway. I’ve been told I’m a pretty good ranter. I’ve also been told I get annoying sometimes when I rant so much but listen…there are people in this world that are not fans of Drake, that’s how I look at it. And I swear Drake and I are brothers but we’ll touch on that subject in one of my future posts. But I say all this to say, to each its own and I hope you enjoy this “journey” or whatever this is. I’m still figuring this blogging world out.

I’m not in a venting type of mood nor do I want to delve into what my interests are. I kinda wanna use this as a platform to mold that presentation of who I am to you guys eventually. And even that statement might be false because I’m probably just gonna post depending on my mood and boy do I have a bunch of those.

I guess the direction I’m tryna’ go with this is giving advice, talking about everyday fuckery and sharing some crazy stories I encounter in my life & trust me, they’re pretty crazy especially when I sauce it up with exaggeration and sarcasm. There will definitely be more substance besides those three things but…we’ll see.

I’m honestly trying to find the coolest way to conclude what I’m trying to say but as you may notice, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say which brings us back to “I’m a pretty good ranter”. Bare with me y’all. Anyway, cheers to the birth of http://www.christofuh.wordpress.com. Tune in!