Around this time in 2008, I was a freshman in college. I was studying for a math exam that I had the next day. I was in a study lounge in my dormitory – it’s always quiet in a study lounge…which is ideal for me because I have fake ADHD. As the night progressed I heard a lot of noise in the hallway. Good noise. I came out of the study lounge to see what was happening and a gang of about 50 kids that lived in my dorm were parading up and down the halls exclaiming that Obama won the presidential election. I was never into politics and even for this election I wasn’t as into it as I probably should have been; but the first year Obama won, I felt liberated. Not sure how to explain the feeling but it was just so refreshing. I was so young then but I understood the importance of voting and how good it was to see the young generation of our time be so involved.
I knew that if Hillary won this election it wouldn’t have been as live as Obama’s victory in ’08 but it would have definitely been a huge sigh of relief – especially since she was running against the erratic Donald Trump. I won’t lie, I really didn’t have plans of voting this year. I was almost sure Donald Trump wasn’t gonna win & that his existence in this campaign was just a scam & a publicity stunt. But after realizing the impressive amount of supporters he had, I knew I had to do my part…and I did. And so it was upsetting when I learned that he’ll be our president for the next four years at 6AM this morning.
I randomly pen my thoughts sometimes because it’s pretty cool to channel old thoughts when you re-read what you were feeling on a certain day. Below is something I wrote when the murder of Alton Sterling was really fresh and when I learned Donald Trump was running for president. I never pull the race card but how can you not when you see who his supporters are on live TV. I wish I wrote more but here it is:
“I’m scared for us. I really don’t like what the world is becoming. I saw the graphic video of Alton Sterling and my heart hurts. I see the hate crimes all over my newsfeed & I never really say anything. I don’t make it a point to hashtag things because I always ask myself: how effective will this be? And I’ve been following a majority of the crimes that have been sensationalized. When it was happening at first, I tried to rationalize the situations but it’s hard to rationalize things when all you can see in these videos is hate in its purest form. I’m not into politics at all. I don’t even know how Trump OR Hillary would be better for the country. I just know right from wrong and whatever the fuck is happening is just wrong.
I guess all I can think about is when will the darkness be over? Everything just seems dark. There’s nothing genuine about anything anymore. Our way of thinking has even changed. Life is just…blah. I don’t know if part of why I’m feeling this way is because I’m an adult now, working a 9-5 or if my nostalgia for the 90’s is just too strong but I’m not dumb. Everything is just off now-a-days. I just figure that the day people find it easy to take a life is the day we hit rock bottom – and I’m pretty sure we’ve hit rock bottom.“
I woke up this morning in a very shitty mood knowing this guy won. It just didn’t sit well at all. I had a million thoughts racing in my head about the whole thing and sadly there’s nothing we can do. I kinda had a lot of shit to say today but I promised myself I wouldn’t beat people in the head about this whole presidential election thing. 2016 started off to be such a beautiful year for me. Sucks that all good things must come to an end. I just really hope we don’t hit rock bottom.